


Eat The Frog

by RadioactiveWolf



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Other, Post-Calamity, Post-Canon, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 09:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10682541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioactiveWolf/pseuds/RadioactiveWolf
Summary: Zelda is out doing more research on the wildlife of Hyrule’s swamps when she catches another frog. This time, Link has no escape from the inevitable.





	Eat The Frog

Like the days of old, she was out and about researching the biological life forms of Hyrule. She was heading for the swamps with her appointed knight. Being so far away from the castle felt like a release from prison. The princess turned queen took a long, deep breath to absorb the fresh scents of the wild around her. It had been so long since she felt free from duty, free from the responsibility of helping Hyrule recover from the Calamity. Now she was as free as a bird on the back of her horse. She spread her arms as the wind blew through her hair.

Upon reaching the swamps Zelda jumped off of her horse not caring if her clothes got muddy. The wildlife was calling for her and she couldn’t deny it any longer. She pulled out her Sheikah Slate and began snapping pictures of the reeds and lilies that made their home in the marsh. With no one but Link around, Zelda came alive and she began sharing her knowledge with him.

“The plant life in these marshes are truly magnificent! All of them can be used as ingredients for a wide variety of-” Without warning, she abruptly stopped her rambling and dropped the Sheikah Slate to run after something that she spotted in the water. Link quickly followed, curiosity getting the better of him. Zelda took a jump and with a loud splash, she fell on top of the creature she was trying to catch. A moment later she was right in front of Link with her hands cupped to keep some small critter contained.

“Link! Link I caught another one!” Opening her hands she revealed a familiar little green frog that croaked at the sight of the blond knight. “Even though we’re not in a controlled environment, I can finally see the effects of this little delicacy!” Link easily recognized the little frog from the last time Zelda had tried to force feed him on a previous outing. Luckily their time had run out before she could shove it down his throat.

Now there was no father to call her back and no monsters to interrupt them. No one could drag them away from this marsh so there was nothing to save Link from the inevitable.

“Come on!” Zelda urged, holding the frog out to Link, “Taste it!” His back was approaching a tree and there was no way for him to escape.

“Tell me what it tastes like!” The frog loomed dangerously close to his face.

“Tell me how it feels!” This frog was pressed against his lips.

“Come on! I want to record every detail!” There wasn’t another option.

Link took the frog from Zelda’s hands and swallowed it whole. The frog tasted like vomit and regret, but that was only the beginning. Zelda, Slate in hand, was happy to record every second of Link’s misery.

Link’s knees buckled as gut wrenching pain wracked his body. The spring in his step from a cooked frog was replaced by the feeling of his stomach being pulled inside out and something was trying to claw its way out. Link moaned in agony, falling to the ground and clutching his stomach.

Link couldn’t take it anymore and started violently retching. The first attempt to throw up the frog was in vain. It was just an empty heave.

The second attempt to throw up the frog managed to expel his breakfast instead.

He finally brought up the frog on the third attempt, and surprisingly the little critter was perfectly fine.

With a croak the frog hopped off as if nothing happened, leaving behind the well respected and much admired Queen of the realm convulsing with laughter and a legendary hero wishing for the sweet embrace of death.


End file.
